Dear Vitamin C –
I moved to Seattle about a year ago from a small town in the Mid-west. I am relatively young and single and have wanted to move here for years so when the opportunity presented itself I jumped on it. Personally it has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. For my family back home, however, it seems to be a source of anger and resentment. I am constantly being told how selfish I am when I feel I do more for my family from afar than I do for myself. I am left feeling sad, exhausted and wondering “Am I selfish in Seattle?” Please help me better understand the difference between self-care and selfishness.
Thank you – Selfish in Seattle
Dear Selfish in Seattle –
First of all – Welcome to Seattle! I’m glad it has been a positive move for you.
Many people have struggled with the differences between self-care and selfishness so you are not alone.
Self-care practices aide in reducing stress and enhancing our overall health and well-being. Self-care is necessary for each of us to be effective in our personal and professional lives. Self-care includes such things as: exercise, meditation, time with family and friends, massage/spa treatments etc.
Selfishness, on the other hand, is the focus or concern with one’s own personal profit or pleasure with little regard for others. Unfortunately some people label others as selfish as a manipulation tactic, which ironically is a selfish act. Trying to explain the differences between self-care and selfishness to your family back home may shift their views. Even if their views don’t change, your recognition of these differences should clarify in your mind that your move to Seattle was motivated by self-care. Taking care of your self before assisting others is the healthy path. The fact that you are trying to help your family from afar suggests you are a caring person rather than selfish in Seattle.
Yours – Vitamin C